Advertisement

Latinx Files: Spending Thanksgiving with your Trump-supporting relatives

Woman rolling her eyes at the thought of thanksgiving post election season.
(Elana Marie / For De Los)
Share via

Periodically, the Latinx Files will feature a guest writer. This week, we¡¯ve asked De Los contributing columnist Alex Zaragoza to fill in. If you have not subscribed to our weekly newsletter, you can do so here.

Well, here we are again. Another four years of a Donald Trump presidency looms ahead, with its assurances of an immigration policy centered on mass deportation, further restrictions on reproductive rights, and the high likelihood of more lies, racist rhetoric, and conspiracy theories that will deliver fresh chaos into our lives. It¡¯s what America¡¯s most felony convicted president does!

The first big hurdle in navigating those choppy red waves is Thanksgiving, otherwise known as the Super Bowl of fighting with your family.

Advertisement

This year¡¯s holiday season is sure to be a MAGA minefield for Latinx people who voted blue in this election and have to pass the potatoes to their Trump-loving relative, especially considering Latinx voters shifted right this time around and may be more emboldened than ever before. Although it¡¯s not our first rodeo, for many, this time around feels like a breaking point with their families.

Sarah P., a 38-year-old arts educator based in Chicago, is nervous about coming home to Los Angeles for the holidays and dealing with her parents, second-generation Mexican Americans who voted for Trump.

Advertisement

¡°We¡¯ve already done the whole sit at the kitchen table where it gets heated and to be honest, there¡¯s never going to be decent enough conversations where anyone¡¯s going to leave with a new frame of mind,¡± she said. ¡°Knowing that we¡¯re here again¡­ I don¡¯t know what to do but just sort of protest [against] my family.¡±

For Sarah, that means rocking passive-aggressive tees with political slogans to dinner or ¡°coming in swinging when they start discussing Trump.¡± In realizing she¡¯s struggling to have ideological conversations with her family, Sarah wonders ¡°how we as a society are going to have them.¡±

That conundrum has been playing out all over news cycles, social media, and in our real-life conversations, with many vocalizing their disbelief that Latinx people would vote for Trump.

Advertisement

¡°Coming from a family of immigrants, and seeing a family member be aligned with some of the rhetoric that Trump has, it was very heartbreaking this year,¡± said Monica Mendoza, an L.A.-based architect who is queer and whose brothers are both Trump supporters. ¡°I love my brothers. It hurts to know that certain things that they stand for would potentially put me in danger.¡±

Having immigrant parents or a cousin who¡¯s undocumented or a queer sister or personal reproductive issues didn¡¯t seem to sway some voters ¡ª a cognitive dissonance only matched by those in liberal spaces expressing their hope that Latinx folks be deported for voting Trump. Identity doesn¡¯t intrinsically grant morality or consciousness or critical thinking. There¡¯s a long list of reasons why Latinx people moved their support to the Republican candidate, including but not limited to cultural beliefs, economic anxieties and the proliferation of targeted misinformation.

Understanding that doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t want to throw a fistful of stuffing at your brother when he parrots a harmful Trump talking point while saying grace over a glazed turkey.

Carolina A., a Brooklyn-based consultant, has been struggling with her brother and his wife, who she says have become increasingly radicalized over the years. ¡°I have suppressed myself because I want to spend quality time with my family,¡± she explained. ¡°I don¡¯t want everything to be a fight. How many aggressions can one take?¡±

After the election, Carolina had enough and took to her family group chat to air out her anger, calling Trump voters ¡°selfish,¡± ¡°ignorant,¡± and ¡°disgusting,¡± aiming to reach her brother. It set off a landslide of finger-pointing and further name-calling. Since then, she hasn¡¯t spoken to her brother, and she has chosen to take a less passive approach in the future when it comes to ideological discussions with her family.

¡°This has taught not just to make stronger boundaries, but to be very vocal instead of trying to tiptoe around it or dismiss it,¡± she explained.

Advertisement

While initially she was planning on skipping Thanksgiving, Carolina has had a change of heart, but told her mom that she¡¯s only willing to attend if they can have ¡°real, open conversations¡± where everyone can ¡°speak about their grievances.¡± ¡°I feel like it¡¯ll be healthy for the family,¡± she added. ¡°I want it to be an opportunity for growth.¡±

This resonates with Mendoza, though she¡¯s taking a softer approach. She¡¯s spending Thanksgiving with her family in Tijuana and will be bringing her girlfriend for the first time, who will meet her brothers who both harbor negative views of LGBTQ+ people. Nothing new in a stereotypical Mexican family, but after this election, Mendoza feels greater tension and fear, especially for her partner.

¡°They have never met me in a relationship with another woman,¡± she told me. ¡°It¡¯s scary, but part of me wants to be brave. But the political state of things makes me hesitant to go.¡±

Even so, she hopes to continue these difficult conversations with her brothers at Thanksgiving, hoping that perhaps seeing their sister in a happy relationship will be the slight change in the conversation that pushes them forward.

Politics have long been a thorny issue within Latinx families. Racist tias and homophobic dads have always existed in our families, and the challenges of that have long been shared. What this election exposed is the many complexities within Latinx identity ¡ª for better or worse, and with its many contradictions ¡ª at an intensified scale, as well as the myriad ways Latinx people have been failed by our political system on every side.

We are a culture riddled with toxic forgiveness, letting things slide for the sake of family closeness, but this election and a more large-scale concern with mental health in our culture is changing the ways in which many want to set boundaries in the coming years.

Advertisement

Fights are baked into Thanksgiving by the simple reality that any gathering with a lot of people who hold varying ideologies and opinions can become uncomfortable, hostile or unsafe. An election year like this one will only exacerbate that, and Latinx people will especially be feeling it. This Thanksgiving will set the tone for what our familial relationships will look like for the foreseeable future, and reflect the necessary conversations and actions that need to be had at a larger level to effect change. If we¡¯ll get there is only something we can hope for at this moment.

Consider subscribing to the Los Angeles Times

Your support helps us deliver the news that matters most. Become a subscriber.

Latinx Files
(Jackie Rivera / For The Times; Martina Ib¨¢?ez-Baldor / Los Angeles Times)

Stories we read this week that we think you should read

Besame Mucho cancels upcoming festival at Dodger Stadium

The Besame Mucho Festival at Dodger Stadium scheduled for Dec. 21 featuring Shakira, Enrique Iglesias and Tigres del Norte has been canceled. Tickets will be refunded.

To retell ¡®Pedro P¨¢ramo,¡¯ director Rodrigo Prieto went on his own journey to the past

Advertisement

In his debut feature film, Oscar-nominated cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto directs the newest movie adaptation of Juan Rulfo¡¯s 1955 novel ¡°Pedro P¨¢ramo.¡±

Column: A thank you to the undocumented on the eve of Trump¡¯s deportation storm

¡°With sentiment against undocumented immigrants higher than it has been in decades ¡ª especially among Latinos ¡ª writing positive stories about the estimated 11 million U.S. residents who aren¡¯t supposed to be here can feel as futile as screaming into a hurricane,¡± writes columnist Gustavo Arellano.

¡°That doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m giving up. That¡¯s why, as this country readies for Thanksgiving, I want to give gracias to undocumented immigrants. It¡¯s a sentiment they don¡¯t hear nearly enough.¡±

Americans will throw out 316 million pounds of food on Thanksgiving. Here¡¯s how it fuels climate change

The United Nations estimates that up to 10% of all human-produced greenhouse gases are generated by food loss and waste. That¡¯s nearly five times the emissions from the aviation industry.

Black Friday starts now: A guide to avoiding pressure tactics, online scams and porch pirates

Advertisement

Retailers have already launched their Black Friday deals in-store and online. As consumers are preparing to make their purchases, scammers and porch pirates are at the ready to exploit this holiday shopping event.

Toys, car parts and avocados: How Trump¡¯s proposed tariffs could impact your wallet

Cars, apparel, electronics and more could see prices go up if President-elect Donald Trump follows through on his pledge to impose sweeping new tariffs on imports from Mexico, Canada and China.

Warnings issued for contaminated raw milk sold in L.A. County stores

Public health officials announced Tuesday that raw milk contaminated with the bird flu virus may have been sold at stores in Los Angeles County. On Sunday, officials said they had confirmed that a batch of milk bottled on Nov. 9 by the Fresno-based Raw Farm Milk, LLC showed evidence of bird flu contamination.

Advertisement
seductrice.net
universo-virtual.com
buytrendz.net
thisforall.net
benchpressgains.com
qthzb.com
mindhunter9.com
dwjqp1.com
secure-signup.net
ahaayy.com
tressesindia.com
puresybian.com
krpano-chs.com
cre8workshop.com
hdkino.org
peixun021.com
qz786.com
utahperformingartscenter.org
worldqrmconference.com
shangyuwh.com
eejssdfsdfdfjsd.com
playminecraftfreeonline.com
trekvietnamtour.com
your-business-articles.com
essaywritingservice10.com
hindusamaaj.com
joggingvideo.com
wandercoups.com
wormblaster.net
tongchengchuyange0004.com
internetknowing.com
breachurch.com
peachesnginburlesque.com
dataarchitectoo.com
clientfunnelformula.com
30pps.com
cherylroll.com
ks2252.com
prowp.net
webmanicura.com
sofietsshotel.com
facetorch.com
nylawyerreview.com
apapromotions.com
shareparelli.com
goeaglepointe.com
thegreenmanpubphuket.com
karotorossian.com
publicsensor.com
taiwandefence.com
epcsur.com
southstills.com
tvtv98.com
thewellington-hotel.com
bccaipiao.com
colectoresindustrialesgs.com
shenanddcg.com
capriartfilmfestival.com
replicabreitlingsale.com
thaiamarinnewtoncorner.com
gkmcww.com
mbnkbj.com
andrewbrennandesign.com
cod54.com
luobinzhang.com
faithfirst.net
zjyc28.com
tongchengjinyeyouyue0004.com
nhuan6.com
kftz5k.com
oldgardensflowers.com
lightupthefloor.com
bahamamamas-stjohns.com
ly2818.com
905onthebay.com
fonemenu.com
notanothermovie.com
ukrainehighclassescort.com
meincmagazine.com
av-5858.com
yallerdawg.com
donkeythemovie.com
corporatehospitalitygroup.com
boboyy88.com
miteinander-lernen.com
dannayconsulting.com
officialtomsshoesoutletstore.com
forsale-amoxil-amoxicillin.net
generictadalafil-canada.net
guitarlessonseastlondon.com
lesliesrestaurants.com
mattyno9.com
nri-homeloans.com
rtgvisas-qatar.com
salbutamolventolinonline.net
sportsinjuries.info
wedsna.com
rgkntk.com
bkkmarketplace.com
zxqcwx.com
breakupprogram.com
boxcardc.com
unblockyoutubeindonesia.com
fabulousbookmark.com
beat-the.com
guatemala-sailfishing-vacations-charters.com
magie-marketing.com
kingstonliteracy.com
guitaraffinity.com
eurelookinggoodapparel.com
howtolosecheekfat.net
marioncma.org
oliviadavismusic.com
shantelcampbellrealestate.com
shopleborn13.com
topindiafree.com
v-visitors.net
djjky.com
053hh.com
originbluei.com
baucishotel.com
33kkn.com
intrinsiqresearch.com
mariaescort-kiev.com
mymaguk.com
sponsored4u.com
crimsonclass.com
bataillenavale.com
searchtile.com
ze-stribrnych-struh.com
zenithalhype.com
modalpkv.com
bouisset-lafforgue.com
useupload.com
37r.net
autoankauf-muenster.com
bantinbongda.net
bilgius.com
brabustermagazine.com
indigrow.org
miicrosofts.net
mysmiletravel.com
selinasims.com
spellcubesapp.com
usa-faction.com
hypoallergenicdogsnames.com
dailyupdatez.com
foodphotographyreviews.com
cricutcom-setup.com
chprowebdesign.com
katyrealty-kanepa.com
tasramar.com
bilgipinari.org
four-am.com
indiarepublicday.com
inquick-enbooks.com
iracmpi.com
kakaschoenen.com
lsm99flash.com
nana1255.com
ngen-niagara.com
technwzs.com
virtualonlinecasino1345.com
wallpapertop.net
casino-natali.com
iprofit-internet.com
denochemexicana.com
eventhalfkg.com
medcon-taiwan.com
life-himawari.com
myriamshomes.com
nightmarevue.com
healthandfitnesslives.com
androidnews-jp.com
allstarsru.com
bestofthebuckeyestate.com
bestofthefirststate.com
bestwireless7.com
britsmile.com
declarationintermittent.com
findhereall.com
jingyou888.com
lsm99deal.com
lsm99galaxy.com
moozatech.com
nuagh.com
patliyo.com
philomenamagikz.net
rckouba.net
saturnunipessoallda.com
tallahasseefrolics.com
thematurehardcore.net
totalenvironment-inthatquietearth.com
velislavakaymakanova.com
vermontenergetic.com
kakakpintar.com
begorgeouslady.com
1800birks4u.com
2wheelstogo.com
6strip4you.com
bigdata-world.net
emailandco.net
gacapal.com
jharpost.com
krishnaastro.com
lsm99credit.com
mascalzonicampani.com
sitemapxml.org
thecityslums.net
topagh.com
flairnetwebdesign.com
rajasthancarservices.com
bangkaeair.com
beneventocoupon.com
noternet.org
oqtive.com
smilebrightrx.com
decollage-etiquette.com
1millionbestdownloads.com
7658.info
bidbass.com
devlopworldtech.com
digitalmarketingrajkot.com
fluginfo.net
naqlafshk.com
passion-decouverte.com
playsirius.com
spacceleratorintl.com
stikyballs.com
top10way.com
yokidsyogurt.com
zszyhl.com
16firthcrescent.com
abogadolaboralistamd.com
apk2wap.com
aromacremeria.com
banparacard.com
bosmanraws.com
businessproviderblog.com
caltonosa.com
calvaryrevivalchurch.org
chastenedsoulwithabrokenheart.com
cheminotsgardcevennes.com
cooksspot.com
cqxzpt.com
deesywig.com
deltacartoonmaps.com
despixelsetdeshommes.com
duocoracaobrasileiro.com
fareshopbd.com
goodpainspills.com
hemendekor.com
kobisitecdn.com
makaigoods.com
mgs1454.com
piccadillyresidences.com
radiolaondafresca.com
rubendorf.com
searchengineimprov.com
sellmyhrvahome.com
shugahouseessentials.com
sonihullquad.com
subtractkilos.com
valeriekelmansky.com
vipasdigitalmarketing.com
voolivrerj.com
zeelonggroup.com
1015southrockhill.com
10x10b.com
111-online-casinos.com
191cb.com
3665arpentunitd.com
aitesonics.com
bag-shokunin.com
brightotech.com
communication-digitale-services.com
covoakland.org
dariaprimapack.com
freefortniteaccountss.com
gatebizglobal.com
global1entertainmentnews.com
greatytene.com
hiroshiwakita.com
iktodaypk.com
jahatsakong.com
meadowbrookgolfgroup.com
newsbharati.net
platinumstudiosdesign.com
slotxogamesplay.com
strikestaruk.com
trucosdefortnite.com
ufabetrune.com
weddedtowhitmore.com
12940brycecanyonunitb.com
1311dietrichoaks.com
2monarchtraceunit303.com
601legendhill.com
850elaine.com
adieusolasomade.com
andora-ke.com
bestslotxogames.com
cannagomcallen.com
endlesslyhot.com
iestpjva.com
ouqprint.com
pwmaplefest.com
qtylmr.com
rb88betting.com
buscadogues.com
1007macfm.com
born-wild.com
growthinvests.com
promocode-casino.com
proyectogalgoargentina.com
wbthompson-art.com
whitemountainwheels.com
7thavehvl.com
developmethis.com
funkydogbowties.com
travelodgegrandjunction.com
gao-town.com
globalmarketsuite.com
blogshippo.com
hdbka.com
proboards67.com
outletonline-michaelkors.com
kalkis-research.com
thuthuatit.net
buckcash.com
hollistercanada.com
docterror.com
asadart.com
vmayke.org
erwincomputers.com
dirimart.org
okkii.com
loteriasdecehegin.com
mountanalog.com
healingtaobritain.com
ttxmonitor.com
nwordpress.com
11bolabonanza.com